Check out the signs.
Have you watched Big Little Lies on HBO? I won’t spoil it for you, but you should know the theme is domestic violence and the complex world of sex, relationships, and abuse.
Do you know anyone who might be in an abusive relationship? If you or someone you know is being abused, you may not recognize the signs right away. In fact, the symptoms of abuse can often be confused with “passion” or “intensity” — the things we long for in a partnership.
Do you ever wonder about your relationship? How do you recognize if you have an abusive partner? Many times people in abusive relationships feel hopeless and trapped. It’s important to understand the reality of your situation — before it’s too late.
Here are the signs of an abusive relationship:
- You feel your partner puts you down, ridicules you in front of other people, or makes fun of you to the point of humiliation.
- Your partner withholds love, attention, affection, or sex, or gives you the silent treatment if you have done something “wrong.” This is a form of control.
- Your partner “punishes” you if you don’t act the way they want you to by taking away or withholding your money, property or time with friends or family.
- They call you names, embarrass you or threaten to kick you out of your own home, for whatever reason.
- They tell you what to wear or shame you for wearing clothes or dressing the way you do.
- They threaten your children or your pets, or the things you own, or they hurt them to retaliate for suspected hurts.
- They push, shove, grab, or hit you, for any reason.
- They isolate you from your family and friends.
- They make you feel frightened when they drive, or when they are in control of the car.
- They force you to have sex or treat you like a sex object or hurt you during sex.
- They hide money, check books and your own access to cash and accounts.
- Your partner tells you that you are imagining any of these behaviors or that you are too sensitive.
Get help now if any of these things are happening to you.
Or call a therapist right this moment and get out of a dangerous situation before it gets worse. There are people out there who can help, please contact them. They can help you make the transition from abuse survivor to someone who is thriving in a new and successful life.
Write to me if you have any questions or use the hotline website above.