Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith and Open Monogamy — Part 2 — Communication

Photo by James Sutton on Unsplash

This article picks up from Part 1, with Will Smith’s revelations about his non-conventional relationship with his wife Jada Pinkett Smith. As individuals practicing open monogamy, they set a good example of how to have positive, conscious communication. They express their needs and actively listen to each other.

Communication Is Vital

“There were significant endless discussions about, what is relational perfection? What is the perfect way to interact as a couple? And for the large part of our relationship, monogamy was what we chose, not thinking of monogamy as the only relational perfection.” –Will Smith interview GQ

Communicating about desires in relationships can be hard. Talking about what you want, particularly if it’s something non-traditional, can seem frightening or even threatening. Taking a closer look at what Will Smith has to say, there are three things that are important in your relationship.

· Communicate constantly

When you talk about your relationship, communication is both ways. And it’s not a single conversation. Continue to discuss one another’s needs and bring up new ideas as often as you can. Revisiting the conversation over time helps guarantee your relationship agreement is always fresh.

· Ask direct and open questions

Focus on simple, direct questions without kitchen-sinking. Stay curious. Asking open-ended questions encourages longer and broader conversations. Your questions should be simple and direct. The answers should be deeper, and more conversational.

· Show appreciation and consider each other’s feelings

Active appreciation sounds is a direct validation of the other's experience; an acknowledgment that you take into consideration their requests and their emotions. Appreciate their position even if you can’t agree with it. Let lt your partner know you are trying to empathize with them, even if you feel differently. Appreciation goes a long way toward moving the conversation forward.

Talking about your open monogamy agreement is an ongoing exercise in conscious, intimate communication. Exploring ideas together can help you learn about each other, yourselves, and your needs. Ask direct questions about your relationship, what you want, and how you want to define your open monogamy. Listen and empathize and have conscious conversations often. Continue to communicate to build your flexible and fluid new monogamy agreement.

To check out my new book “Open Monogamy: Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement” go to Sounds True Publishing, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or anywhere books are sold.